The True Narcissist…Up Close and Personal

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Friends…I really wish I had the imagination to make up the stories that I write about. Unfortunately they are true!!!! I recently had a quick minute of guy for most of December…and of course there’s a story about that as well. But today’s post and audacity of what I’m about to tell you by far outweighs my own story in content.

While minding my own business today, having a great morning reminiscing about a really great date last night (I’ll never tell much more than that !), I received top secret information about the author of a blog post I had written earlier this fall. So before we begin this discussion, the following comment below is from “Jacinda” in reference to the post. “Jacinda” wrote so eloquently her thoughts on each point I made about identifying Red Flags in a relationship. As I mentioned in the post, it was based upon a dear friends’ recent experience.  To read the entire post, click this link…

Wow! What an asshole! I have so many issues with this, I don’t know where to begin. So many red flags smh.

Love Bombing: Typical. In a normal relationship, it is almost like pulling teeth trying to get a man to honestly express himself. Even when we are fully aware they love us, they are STILL afraid to say it in fear it will “change things” or make them seem weak. BUT, when a man is throwing out the “I love you” ‘s and laying it on SO thick SO early…umm hello, red flag! He said it himself, “I know exactly what I’m doing,” What I think happened was he may have actually really liked this woman and genuinely expressed his true feelings for her, but somewhere along the lines he simply just lost interest. It’s happened to us all. The “good morning” texts stop coming. We text them but they don’t respond until hours later blaming their busy schedule on the delay. Funny. In the beginning they would text back almost immediately. Flag on the play. We have to remember to go with our gut. Don’t let the attention, sweet text messages, kind gestures, thoughtful gifts, laughs shared, sweet kisses or extremely good 2 hour sensual mind blowing sex blind us from seeing the Flags men throw at us, especially in the beginning stages of the relationship.

Mommy Issues: I’m confused. Why is he involving his mother in the first place?? And after 3 weeks of dating her?? Did your friend tell her family about this guy as well? I’m throwing 2 flags on the play for this one. Again, just because a man is telling us sweet things and giving us some really really good Dick, doesn’t mean that our families need to be made aware of it! Sometimes it’s better to let a situation play out before we start bringing others into our business. In the Momma’s Boy’s momma’s defense, I would have a concern about the age difference as well. Not that it would be any of my business. This man was 10 years younger than your friend!? Flag on the play! Ladies, here is the truth. Listen to me and listen to me well. If a younger man says he is interested in you, no matter what he says- always remember that it is ONLY PHYSICAL. He wants to have sex with a cougar. And as SOON as he gets bored with the sex, he’s out the door…and the next day with some prettier younger tighter woman. It’s a game to them. They know we’re older and want to feel young again, date young guys, preferably a young black guy ;-), get dicked down really good and they use that against us. I digress. Race would not have mattered in this situation if the Momma’s Boy really genuinely cared about the woman. I’m sure your friend is not the first woman he’s been with outside his race. Something else I don’t understand, he says he and his mother weren’t close, well why did he tell her about this woman in the first place!? Sounds fishy. I doubt he even told her to begin with! Flag on the play!

Ex-Wife: He mentioned the ex wanted to get back together?? Hold up hold up hold up…Flag On The Play!! They’re still sleeping together and they aren’t divorced. Ladies, when we are done with a man, we are DONE! I don’t care if that sorry s.o.b. is dating Princess Diana’s clone, I would never want my ex back! And I damn sure wouldn’t be jealous. We have to learn to NEVER take steps back! We left our ex’s for a reason and once a dog always a dog and if you sleep with a dog, you get rabies bitch, it’s 2016. His “Ex Wife” would not tell him she wants him back UNLESS he was giving her the impression that getting back together was a possibility. Does you friend know for a fact that he was divorced?? Flag on the play! Ladies, if you ask your man his divorce date and he doesn’t know it or he gives you a different date than he gave you the First time you asked, he’s still married. Why would this guy tell your friend that his “Ex” wants to get back together?? I’ll tell you why. Because men are stupid. He was actually telling on himself. Projecting his true intentions and feelings. He had no intention of getting married to your friend or being in any kind of sustainable relationship, that man is still married. Let me find out that my man gave his “ex wife” even 5 seconds to discuss she wants to get back with him. Uh uh. Flag on the play!!

Immaturity: So he ended up telling her he couldn’t see her anymore because of the distance. Flag on the play!! Just like you said, he KNEW about the distance when entering that relationship. What happened is, as I said before, he began to loose interest in your friend and making the drive or flight to see her didn’t seem worth his time anymore. Men are very selfish and very narcissistic. It’s ALWAYS about them! UNLESS, they are with a woman that they truly love. In the beginning, you said he would text all the time and do all these things…that was because the young man may have THOUGHT he loved your friend…but as time went on…the “love” showed itself for what it really was, lust, and the little boy lost interest in his new toy and went to look for a shinier one. If he told her he would find a place closer to her, it’s because he knew that’s what she wanted to hear. It’s something she needed to hear to trick herself into not listening to her gut and breaking things off. He may be immature. But he isn’t stupid. Again, he said it himself- “I know what I’m doing.” I agree with you Stacie. He most likely hooked her in with the hot and heavy….gave her body much needed and desired orgasms…the kind that make our bodies shake…our vaginas explode and sometimes even make us feel so good that we cry…damn that was some good Dick…but ladies, Dick don’t pay our bills or take care of us, WE do! This is a prime example of some young immature man taking advantage of a situation…he knew telling your friend the distance was too much wouldn’t terminate the relationship…he knew he had her hooked and she would most likely drive or hop on plane charter a boat rent a horse- do whatever to go see that man. But now it meant that HE wouldn’t have to divulge any if HIS time to travel to see her. I digress. Again. Sounds like he was trying to break up with her but was too immature to just come out and say it. Be a man. Speak up. Say how you truly feel. Flag on the play!

Let’s Still See Each Other: We all know what those words mean. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship, he just wants to have sex. Wants his cake and eat it too. She gave it him 3 more times. Their both guilty. 2 flags on the play!

I Can’t See You: They made plans to meet but he cancelled. Then rescheduled but he canceled AGAIN!? Uh uh. Flag on the play! He didn’t care for your friend at this point. Moved on to something younger tighter and less demanding. Men are stupid. Your friend should feel blessed to be less stressed bow that she isn’t with this guy.

Great read! I can’t wait to read about your next adventure in dating or hear about your friends experiences!

When I first read her comments I was impressed and rather humbled with her thorough answers to each point I made. I really didn’t think much about it other than I had a reader that really was interested in the topic and read my post all the way through!  Well hellz-bellz… was I off base! My secret source informed me that “Jacinda” was really the man whom the post was about!!!! She was an imposter! What?!  Are you friggen kidding me?! I can’t divulge much more than this, but trust me, this is the truth! And if you are a personal friend of mine, you know I don’t lie.  Heck, if anything I speak the truth more often than some would like to hear!

In reality, He/She was pleading HIS case, while pretending to be a female reader that was supporting my argument and supporting my friend.  How sick is that? Where do these people even come from?!  Now I always knew this guy was a narcissist, but holy crap, this guy is Cray-Cray! Re-Reading those comments in the lens of HIM, we are afforded the inner-workings of a the male narcissist up close and personal.  Now, go back and re-read the comments knowing that they are from the perspective of a man telling us women how it really is. Should we thank him? LOL?!

Essentially He/She admits….

1. He was wasn’t in love but love-bombed her to get her in bed…
2. That he probably never really told his Mom anything about my friend. That it was just a lie…
3. HE WAS STILL MARRIED! WTF?! And indicates the possibility that he was still fooling around with his wife!…
4. That he wanted to bed down a Cougar. He was 10 years younger.  So essentially he got what he wanted and then was ready to move on. He wanted the shinier object.  AND the best kicker….

5. HE FRIGGEN ADMITS HE IS A LYING, CHEATING NARCISSIST! I swear on bibles that this is probably the craziest thing I’ve experienced so far. It’s mind-blowing to me!!!

But here is the icing on the cake.   On Sunday January 29th, “Jacinda” wrote another comment to her post…This comment is addressed to my friend by name…because it’s him again! Guess what “Jacinda” (I know your name boy!), I’m not approving your comment for the world to see. As the owner and writer of my blog, I decide to approve every comment that is ever written….So guess what…No one will ever see your last and pathetic response.  That said, I’ll keep your original comment that your other personality, “Jacinda”, wrote because it’s a great blog post for me to write about. So thank you for the material.  I just wonder, do you play both sides of the aisle my friend!? No judgement, just a wonder?! Nothing would surprise me at this point.

Honestly, the one thing that my friend is most upset about is the fact he is still married. She knows what kind of man he really is, even though she had feelings for him.  However, this woman is a woman of great integrity. Had she known he was even separated, there would never have been a first dinner back in the Fall. We both have had a good laugh at him for actually being an imposter…Like I said, I can’t even make this shit up! Not to mention that she is smoking hot, funny, kind, trustworthy, loyal, spiritual…You get the picture. She is one amazing catch! She has men knocking her door down to date her…seriously she isn’t lacking for male companionship. She has absolutely zero respect for this man anymore. He even had the audacity, after having some terse words with her to say, “Well, I’ll give you a week to decide if you still want to get together.” I can’t even write this without cracking up at this! Ummmmm “Jacinda”, she wouldn’t take your crazy self back in her life ever again! The men that have been pursuing her are nothing like you…meaning they are kind, honest, and treat her with the utmost respect. Qualities that you have a hard time exhibiting.

You’d think from my escapades and a story like this, we would throw in the towel.  However, sometimes amongst the crazies, you find some really great people that become friends. We have both found a true friend versus a mate through one of our on-line prospects. Men that we wouldn’t have met otherwise. You can always use a great guy friend! We would not have met these guys if we hadn’t been “fishing, or bumbling or matching”.  It’s still a challenge out there, but we will not lose faith. Trust me, it’s easy to do, but we refuse! The Pollyanna in us won’t let us!

Please feel free to share my posts. I love seeing more and more of you subscribe and provide your feedback. On another note, I won’t be writing next Sunday because I’ll be watching THE ATLANTA FALCONS in the Superbowl!!!!! WOOHOO. Rise Up!

Be Well and Be Blessed my friends!

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