That pesky left ring finger…Is he married or not?!


I’ll admit, as soon as I see an attractive guy; after sizing up his looks and physique…saying mhmm…looks good…I then take the glance to the left ring finger.  The finger that, if he’s on the up and up, will show his marital status.  When it’s free of metal I assume he is fair game, just a single guy that’s out here just like me.

A few weeks ago my girls and I went out for a GNO – you know what that is, right?! (If you don’t, send me an email!). We got there early enough to stake our claim at the bar so we could have seats all night. As the room began to get crowded; I spot a cutie looking my way.  He wasn’t being overly discreet, so I let him see that I saw him looking. I gave a little wave, some eye movement my friends say is my “flirty look” and I go about my business.  He then proceeds to come over and tell me he wants me to save a dance. That I’m the hottest girl in the place and he hopes I’m single. (Whatever!) I answer yes that I am single…although I have a few people I go out with.  I ask him if he is single and he says Yes.  I look at his left hand and don’t see a ring! Score! Good looking guy, dances, likes me, NOT MARRIED. WOOHOO!

We dance the night away. In fact, we were tearing up the dance floor and were kind of taking over the place. There was a great chemistry between us. I was just having fun. My girlfriend and I had to leave, so he walked me to the car and asked if he could take me out again.  UM, DUH….YES! He asked for my number and before I even made it home, received this cute text, “I had such a great time meeting you tonight and dancing with you. I hope to see you again. Sweet dreams.”  Wow. Every girls nightmare already taken care of…will he ever text me. Well he already did!

I didn’t hear from him again the rest of the weekend…Hmmm. So I did what any rationale girl would do…I stalked him on Facebook! He told me his first and last name, so fair game! I begin scrolling through his posts.  It’s not a public profile, but I can see his profile pictures.   OMG. I can’t believe what I’m seeing! There’s a picture with a wedding band on his finger! Say what?! There’s no friggin way this dude is married.  My brother and his girlfriend thought he was…I just couldn’t even go there. I wait a few days and still no text. So we make a bet to see if he would text me back. If he doesn’t – he’s married. If he does…he’s not.

I text, “Hey Dancing Fool.”  Within a few minutes I receive a “Hey you!”. HA! I WIN! He’s not married! So then I proceed to ask him, “So, how long have you been divorced or are you separated? I wouldn’t want to step on toes of your wife if you are still married, but separated.”  People…I’m a true New Yorker. I don’t hold back. Immediately he replies with a snarky comment, “Well I see how you are. I don’t play games with people. You should be on your way.”  I’m thinking, WTF? Why is this guy getting so aggravated…He should be happy I’m even texting him first after 4 days! Can I get an AMEN sisters?! (Thank you!) So I say, “Whatever, Have a great day. You won’t be hearing from me again.”

Fast forward two hours later…here’s the the text messages:

Him: Hey, we got off to a bad start. Can we start over?   Me: Sure.   Him: Hey beautiful!    Me: Hey there!    Him: We should meet for lunch.    Me: Well, first can I ask you the same question from before without you getting all snarky on me?

Silence for about 20 minutes….then this…

Him: Yes, I am married. I thought you wanted to just have fun and dance that night. I’m sorry I lied.

So let’s just say I called him out! He was full of BS. If he really wanted to just have fun and dance, why did he text me back the second time and then proceed to ask me to go to lunch? BECAUSE HE IS A LOSER AND A CHEATER!

So the moral of the story: That pesky left ring finger sans a ring doesn’t always mean they are free agents! I will say I know some men don’t always wear their wedding bands…but when you ask and they say they aren’t married and then you don’t see a ring…that assumption should be made!

So…I’m still kissing a lot of frogs. Ribbit, Ribbit!


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