So cliche, right? How many times have you heard someone say this to you? God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, and so on. I’ve said this to other’s before… But recently I internalized it. To my core. The peace it left me is something I need to share. I need to share the road-map that led me to where I sit right now…A different person than 5 weeks ago. Mentally Different. Physically Different. Spiritually Different. All for and because of God’s Master Plan for me, this very second of this very day of this very week and for this very year.
Allow me to list the series of events I have had the hind-sight to now see how beautifully it has been orchestrated….As they say, hind-sight is 20/20…So True!
-As an adult child; I still have the blessing of having both my parents alive
-I have been blessed with the most amazing career with an amazing company – 22 years strong
-March 2017 I embarked upon a new venture with a great health and wellness company
-April 2017 I met a man I absolutely adore and love
-June and July 2017: Through heartache and a series of unfortunate events; my circle of friends became that much smaller
-August 2017: I joined a women’s small group bible study
-September 2017….where it all was put into place…Allow me to explain.
Before you read any further…Let me begin by saying I am ok. I do need to recover, but I will…So let me put that out there!
It was a regular day, towards the end of September. I wasn’t really feeling quite well. My skin on my left back side of my legs felt strange. Just had a strange sensation. Nothing visible. As the week went on, I developed some feelings of chills and had a slight fever by the end of the week. My back was very sore. I stayed home from work that day…just not feeling good. What ensued from that day through the month of October has been a multitude of tests and various physician visits. Ultimately as I sit here, I have been tested for everything you can imagine…EVERYTHING….3 ER visits, 4 MRI’s, Cat Scans, Ultrasounds, Blood Work, Spinal Tap, a week in the hospital and finally receiving prophylactic medication to treat what my two doctors on the case were narrowing down the diagnosis to be…My poor bruised arms…It took 5 different nurses to get my IV going my first night. I guess I was a tad dehyrdated!!!
Trying to get into the right doctor was no one’s urgency but my own. “Our first available is February 2018. Our first available is October 31.” And so on. I researched the internet…I became THAT patient. I saw my symptoms related to something. I went to my primary doctor and said, “I hate to be this person..but this is what’s going on. I need an MRI, stat. Someone needs to listen to me!” Thankfully, due to my ever so tenacious personality and never over-looking an opportunity…I was able to secure my own destiny to see certain doctors last minute. Albeit through various connections: knowing the billing specialist at one, having my primary doctor beg another to see me, and finally the kicker…Asking a friend to contact the the wife of a local physician to please see me. It was this last connection that finally afforded me a work in with the physician who ultimately has been treating me. If it wasn’t for that connection…I would still not have seen this specialist…This was after two weeks of issues and no one really understanding what was happening. Another ER visit, and nothing…But things were getting worse. I had to create my own destiny to get seen…It was soooo frustrating; but again; God prepared me with the network I needed to do this.
I’m not telling you any of this for pity. I’m not telling you any of this for any other reason than to tell you that God’s hand was in this entire process.
So let’s go back to the beginning…
My parents: Which includes my Mom, Dad and Step-Mom…Even at the ripe old age of 50; (almost 51); They were here for me!!! My Mom has been by my side to all of my ER visits, has taken me to doctor visits and just continues to take care of her little girl. My Dad and Step-Mom came into town this past weekend. Treated me to home-cooked meals that are now stocked in freezer so I don’t have to worry about meals. How awesome is that? And trust me, my Italian Step-Mom can cook like nobody’s business!!
My Job: Let’s just say that the bills are high…Geesh! But through the Grace of God I have had the same job and career for the last 22 years. Thankfully my health insurance is covering the majority of my expenses.
My Man: He has been a support that I didn’t know Li’l Ole Miss Independent really needed. His 6’5″ frame hardly fit on the sleeper sofa in my hospital room; but he gladly was there. Just wanting to be with me. Giving me strength, reading me scriptures of healing and just being still with me. His presence in my life is one of the unexpected (have you read this blog!?) and God’s placement. He said he was so happy to hear me snore, lol. That meant I as getting a good sleep, lol!
My Circle of Friends: Through all of this…God made sure at this very moment that the right people were here for me. The people that truly love and care for me. That dropped their lives in a nano-second to help me, go to doctor’s appointments with me. He knew! This includes my new business partner and now one of my best friend! As well as the few other women I count on one hand that were with me, listened to me and helped me manage through this month of crazy and unknown outcome.
My Prayer Warriors: I have been praying to find a group of women to do a study with. Now that I was an empty-nester; I reached out to a very dear friend and co-worker and asked if her group had room. They willingly invited me to join them. I had only one study meeting with them when I couldn’t attend for not feeling well. The rest unfolded. These women prayed over me so fully and lovingly. I was almost a complete stranger to all of them but my friend. They visited me in the hospital – like what?! How amazing God was to put these prayer warriors into my life right then and there! God, you are so amazing!
Here’s the kicker of all of this…As this was happening…as I would wait for another test result to possibly tell me that I had some terrible illness…I WAS AT COMPLETE PEACE WITH THE OUTCOME. God had prepared my heart to be ready for whatever I was facing. Not that I wasn’t scared, but I was OK with what my future had in front of me. The peace that I had was somewhat un-nerving. But it was because I knew He had my back. I would be ok.
To make this even better…I was able to give this testimony to one of hospital staff. Jan, from the IV team. She asked me what was going on…because if you looked at me; basically I was the best looking and healthiest looking patient on the floor (I’m serious!). Some didn’t even know I was a patient! So I gave her the rundown of things. She asked me…How are you able to handle all of this. You are so young.
I replied, “I believe in my heart that God has prepared me for my entire life for this very moment in time. And because of that I have complete peace with what will be.” She looked up (thankfully found a vein! Oh my bruised arms!) and said, “Thank you so much for sharing that with me. The devil has been playing with me and I needed to hear that right now.” Before she left, I gave her my number and told her I would love to take her to church if she ever wanted to go. I hope she calls me. That would be my honor.
That right there…That very moment…I was supposed to be there for HER. God’s work through me to show her she can prevail. Do you see what God did? Are you crying yet? How beautiful He is. How beautiful His plan is.
My prognosis is good. I will heal. The body is an amazing machine. The mind is even more amazing. I believe the power of prayer and the power of positive thinking will help me continue to heal. I am alive and well. A little slower while I heal. Not quite as loud. Not quite as busy. God definitely wants this busy woman to be still. He wants me to heal. But He wanted me to share this story. It has been on my heart for this entire time. But I had to formulate how I would express this.
My hope for you, my reader, is to know God is real. To know God has a plan. Even in the wake of tragedy the low valley’s, which I know some have gone through of late, He is here for us. That’s all that I know for sure.
I cannot properly thank the people in my life that have been my support system these past weeks. You all know who you are. Please know I am thankful for your place in my life and will be forever grateful to God that He placed you here with me.
I hope this story is one of inspiration to you if you are struggling. Its not about me…It’s about Him and His love. He is here when you are ready to receive Him.
Be Well and Be Blessed My Friends.
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