When I started this blog in September 2016; I had no idea that it would become the platform that I am about to use it for. God knew. Dang, He is always so right and so perfect! I look back at a year of writing…the subject matter has changed, as I have changed, my life has changed.
I loved writing about all of the dating adventures that my friends and I have had…and I will continue to do so should the occasion arise. But I also said this blog would be about “other stuff”. And it has. I have written about nutrition, health, and have always woven in my spiritual side in my writing.
Welp…the “other stuff” is about to the become a journey that I had never thought I’d be on. I don’t even know how to write it, to say it, so here goes…Wednesday, November 15th will be a day for me to always remember…a day that will forever be in my life as an anniversary of sorts…the day I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis or just MS. Wow. Just wow. Are you saying, Wow? This vibrant, energetic, hard working sales gal, fitness junkie, dietitian…has MS…But guess what…I’m still all of those things! I am still the same person I ever was. Maybe at times my energy will be different. Maybe I won’t be doing the same type of fitness activities when things come and go. Maybe I need a nap here and there that I didn’t before. Maybe I will even clean up my diet even better now! Who knows!!! Here is what I do know right this very second…
Multiple Sclerosis will not define me! I will not be “that” woman that has MS. I am still the same Mother, Daughter, Friend, Co-Worker, Partner and God-Loving person I was the day before I was diagnosed. Period.
Let me be real. I’m not over-joyed with this. But I was prepared by God. He gave me the strength to accept whatever was to be. He gave me strength for what began as weird things happening to my body at the end of September. He gave me strength to endure MRI’s Cat Scans, Spinal Taps (yep – plural!), Doctor’s Visits, Infusion Therapies, Medications, ER Visits, Hospital Stays (yep – plural) , and time off of work. If you know me…sitting still isn’t my natural inclination. But God told me to be still. And I listened.
What God really gave me though were the words and the strength to sit down with my girls and have the most difficult conversation of my life. I know many that have had to have this conversation with their children…I just didn’t think I’d have to….I felt like they had to grow up right there in front of my face as the words left my mouth. They now have to accept a part of life that doesn’t make sense. They now have a fear of what may lie ahead when they don’t need to. They don’t deserve to worry about me. I need to worry about them. I am their Mother. But God gave me two of the most amazing young women I could ever be blessed with. Of course we cried. But I said to them…
Life guarantees us nothing. While I can’t predict how my disease will progress, you can’t predict how your life will either. Because of that, we take each day and we count the blessing that it gives us. We have no choice.
I gave them a gift that the three of us will all wear: It’s a glass pendant of a butterfly: a symbol of MS; of transformation and of beauty. The back side reads, “Live Life”. I also added a small cross charm…And so we will all live this life, Team Hill Girls, along with the metamorphosis that may lie ahead of us, with the guidance and strength from our amazing God above.
That evening we had fun. We laughed. We decorated our Christmas Tree. We took fun family pictures that we planned on doing prior to all of this. This is my favorite…as it sums up everything we felt…They are my heart.
I believe there is a reason for this. Perhaps this blog has always been the groundwork for me to help others with this disease…To be a sounding board for some. A source of inspiration for some. I don’t know yet. But it will come to me as pray and learn what my role is.
I do know this…I have seen the blessings that have come from the past 8 weeks of my life…My parents and their unconditional love. The un-wavering love I have been blessed to receive from an amazing partner. The love of my precious girls. The tribe of women that God perfectly placed in my life as to not have to worry about life in general. The work family that I have that has held me up in prayer. My women’s small group that have been praying for me (and I for them) that I met via bible study. The friends from my amazing Orangetheory Fitness Family. Just so many blessings that I want to acknowledge. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!!!!!
So as I venture down this road of life…I ask you all…Count whatever blessings you have, no matter how small. Life is a gift…NO matter what…In My Humble Opinion…(it is my blog and all!)
Be Well and Be Blessed!
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