And the Winner Is…ME! Why I refuse to be a second choice!

I remember that feeling in 3rd grade, waiting to be picked for the kickball team. I literally felt the sweat running down my brow as I saprofileimagesquotes-com-5l7_never_accept_to_be_aw the captains deciding who to pick. My inner voice was begging, pleading that I wasn’t the last one to get picked.

I had that feeling come upon me recently…waiting to be picked. Only this time around, I decided I wasn’t going to wait.

Here’s the back story…Guy meets girl…guy and girl REALLY hit it off! Crazy chemistry. Off the damned charts. We met, we talked, we went on consecutive dates. As odd as it sounds…it was one of those whirlwind, get swept off your feet, only see it in the movies romance. An intense infatuation.

But…one little, itty, bitty thing…the EX decided to come back around. The EX, whom I was told was no longer in the picture. But once said man was moving on…yup…call it jealousy, remorse, reality hitting that he may not be available, the EX came back around. She wanted him back. I was told by him that he didn’t know what to do and he had a very hard decision to make. I really didn’t think so, but OK.

REALLY? Now in all fairness we were “new” and they had a significant history. But that said, in due diligence I had already had this “discussion” of “what if…”. The answer I was given was not coming to fruition. It was…I don’t know. I need time to decide.

Ladies..NO FRIGGEN WAY ARE WE EVER ANYONE’S SECOND CHOICE! I sadly walked away, not looking back, replaying the conversation in my head. I went to my tribe…you know…those women in your life that are there for you in an nano-second! I sought counsel from every one of them.

My second talk was with my Mom. The strongest, most independent woman in this entire universe. Married twice. Always resilient. She listened to my conversation and said…

“You are my daughter and all I care about is you. You don’t ever let a man choose your direction. You have rebuilt yourself after your divorce and I am so very proud of you. That took guts and strength. Do not let this man decide for you. You decide for him.”

Applause, right! Hell, yes Mama!

I walked away from that conversation like Wonder Woman. Gloria Gaynor was singing “I Will Survive” in my ear. (By the way, I will win a contest for knowing all the words to that song…just saying!).

Not two hours after I walked away from that conversation with him, I knew I was going to make my own decision. I spoke to a few more friends and said my peace as to my decision.  I deliberately decided to wait to hear from him…whenever that would be. Thankfully by the end of the evening I received the text I knew I would…but guess what?! I was OK. Because I had decided what my decision was going to be, I did not wait for a man to decide for me.

WE decide our path, not anyone else! WE determine what we will or will not settle for. WE are a first choice and NEVER a second choice. WE have worked too hard to learn to love ourselves and value our worth to let someone pick us last on the kickball team!

So there you have it…and The Winner Is….ME! I WON because I decided I would! Period. The End.

And so I continue on getting lots of wet kisses from yet another frog…someday my prince may come 🙂



  1. Teeara | 9th Nov 16

    I love this topic!!! Tia referred me to your blog 🙂

    • | 9th Nov 16

      Welcome Teeara! I typically post on Sunday evening and sometimes mid-week. I hope to inspire you to keep the faith to find your Prince!

  2. | 5th Oct 16

    She is my inspiration!

  3. Deb | 5th Oct 16

    Your mom sounds amazing. Must be where you get it 🙂 I love love LOVE this.

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