A friend contacted me this week, very upset about what she had seen in an on-line dating app that she uses. More specifically, whom she had seen show up in her list of men that should could potentially choose from. She saw her friends’ husband! YIKES!
Her son has been playing sports with his son for years. She sits with his wife; a friend, at many of the games. What should she do? I honestly didn’t know what I would do, but my immediate advice was to stay out of it!
Fast forward a a few days into the week. I’m minding my own business, going through my Tinder feed and BAM! “Pete” shows up. Hmmm…Pete looks familiar. I flip through his pictures and realize that he is the husband of someone I know. Holy Crap?! What threw me off is that “Pete”, the name he has listed, is not his name! He is using a fake name, which makes me even more suspect that either I am wrong or he is who I think he is and…UGH! Is he cheating?! The feeling I had made me feel nauseated. Literally. I texted my friend that had seen her friend’s husband and tell her my story. So I asked myself, what do I do? Do I ask my friend if she and her husband are separated or divorced? If not, do I tell her? But I landed back to where my thought process was when I gave advice…stay out of it!
I know some of you are thinking, H-E-Double Hockey Sticks No! You tell her girl! Girl code! Protect the Tribe! Out that lying SOB! But here are the questions I considered:
Question 1: Is this any of my business? No! It’s none of my beeswax! What if he is cheating, is it my place to tell? How will it be received? Do I want to be the Simple answer!
Question 2: How close is our friendship? I asked my girlfriend how close she was to the wife of the man she saw on-line. She said they were just friends through sports. She doesn’t do anything with her outside of the sport, but usually sits with her during the games. This is the same situation for me as well. I have known of this woman since my kids were in elementary school…but we aren’t close. We will chat when we see one another. I said, the only way I would tell another woman what I had seen is if she was one of my true-blue best girlfriends. Even then, it would not be easy; but I would want one of my true-blues to do the same for me. That is THE only way I would have this conversation.
Question 3: Do I know much about the couple? The old adage, “you never know what goes on behind closed doors”, holds true today. We all put our best foot forward and often hide behind our smiles. I know I did for many years. I shocked my own family when I told them I was going to file for divorce. No one knew anything was going on. I think about this fact, because I intentionally didn’t want anyone knowing this private piece of my life. So I need to afford the same respect to someone else that may have been struggling or still is struggling with their own marriage. Who am I to think that this man is cheating on his wife. Maybe they really are going through a separation. I actually did a little bit of research in my situation and found out that the couple is separated. Trust me when I tell you, I would have never imagined this to be happening to this couple…Why? Because I, nor you, know what really is going on in someone’s life. And this circles back to the answer to Question 1: It’s none of my beeswax!
I need to hear from you, my reader…What would you do? How do you feel about my friend not telling her friend. She is fairly certain this family is not going through separation. I would love to hear from you.
COMMENT BELOW AND PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG!
I appreciate your readership and support as I continue to share what I am learning and seeing in my travels as a single girl looking for her prince.
Be Well and Be Blessed!
My first post…Gosh…where do I even start? How did this even…